I think it’s funny how sometimes, when it feels like your world is breaking, the best things are revealed. The best things, standing right next to the hard things. The best things, evident because the hard things happened. Three weeks ago, something in my world broke. Or rather, I discovered something in my world is broken.

It’s that time of year again! I turn 26 this weekend (and I feel old), so it’s time for my yearly list. In no particular order, here’s 26 things I’ve learned at 26.

 I’ve learned through the years that gratefulness and joy can coexist with tension and tough stuff. Perspective matters more, in my opinion, than how much you or I understand.

I needed this reminder.

I’m writing this to myself, just as much as I am to you.

Somewhere is coming. But here is here. And here is valid.

I’ve sat down to write this every day this week. And every day, I’ve trashed the document I was working on. But no matter how many drafts sit on my laptop, one sentence has always come back.

Maybe I’m clinging to clichés. It’s possible that the past few years of my life have just been way harder than I thought they would be, so I’ve now turned to an almost blissful mindset that an upswing has to arrive eventually. And it could be all wrong. Or it could at least be partly right. Either way, I know I’m standing at the end of this as one thing: hopeful.