The greatest gift I’ve ever been given.

Yesterday, you told me that you wished one of my poems was about you.

I reminded you that I have sent you one and that after reading it,

you had jokingly yelled at me for making you cry.

Yesterday, you told me that you wished one of my poems was about you.

You remembered that one after I said it,

and we both laughed at the way you blamed me for your tears.

But what you don’t know is that

I’ve lost count of how many I’ve started.

There’s a handful of documents with your name on them,

there are countless sentences that I’ve written just for you.

What you don’t know is that

there’s nobody I want to write for

more than I want to write for you.

But whenever I’ve tried,

it has never felt like enough.

How do I adequately thank the one person who

buys a plane ticket before I even ask her to come,

stands tall for me every single time I can’t for myself,

and drops everything for my calls?

How do I thank the one person who

has stormed her way through hospitals and clinics,

over and over

to get me the answers I need,

just so I can live the life that I now do?

How do I thank the person who

has made laughter the main soundtrack of all those hospital rooms,

who has taken the brunt my frustration about things neither of us can change

every single time I’ve thrown it her way,

even though she’s the person who deserves that the least?

How do I thank the person who

reminds me what I am capable of and what I am worth;

the person who keeps my head on straight every single day?

Yesterday, you joked that you wished one of my poems was about you.

But what you don’t know is

this is the one I’ve searched for most.

These are the words I’ve chased after the hardest.

Because every time my world breaks,

you’re the one who puts it back together.

Every time something flips,

you’re the one who catches it.

I am strong because you are behind me,

I am better because you have fought for me.

I am confident because you are my first and my best call.

Without fail.

Little did you know,

these were the words I wanted most to find.

What feels like a small attempt in response to

the greatest gift I’ve ever been given;

Only knowing a world with you in it.

Only knowing a life with you as my advocate,

you as my cheerleader,

you as my shoulder to cry on.

Only knowing a world

with you as my mom.