The best thing you can do for her.
In my last post, I shared that 2023 was a whirlwind of a year for me. It led me to taking a step back from trying to get my novel published - which is what I pursued for the last 3 years. While that was a tough decision, in the transition away from what had been my sole writing focus for so long, I found myself writing in a form I never saw myself writing in.
I say it over and over on here, but I guess never say never, right?
If you know me, you know that both of my parents are my biggest cheerleaders and two of my best friends. On Christmas, I let them in on some of the new writing I was trying out and hadn’t yet shared.
I gifted them two poems I had written.
As I’ve said, I never saw myself writing in this form, but I guess there was a time in my life where I said the same thing about writing a novel. I don’t know if anything will materialize beyond me sharing my writing on here, but the pressure is off for me. And after a long 3 years, right now, I’m just writing because I love writing.
Today is my dad’s birthday. And if you know my dad, you know he’s aways encouraging me to be brave, step out of my box, and take the risk.
So, in honor of the person who is constantly pushing me in the best ways, I decided today would be a good day to share some of the new stuff I’ve been writing. Even if that terrifies me.
Because it’s what he would tell me to do anyways.
Below you’ll find the poem I wrote and gave to him on Christmas. I believe in efforts to stop myself from crying when I gave it to him, I quickly handed it to him and cracked a weak joke of: “Here. This is for all the clueless girl dads of the world.”
Happy birthday, Dad.
I wouldn’t be the writer or the person I am without you, and I'm thankful every single day to have you in my corner.
You are an unmatched girl dad. I love you.
The best thing you can do for her
Jordan Ellis
The best thing you can do for her,
is load her iPod with songs
she doesn’t know but that make you think of her.
She’ll probably be annoyed when you do.
Because at her age, she won’t get it.
But trust me.
When she’s older,
when she’s trying to find her way on a giant college campus
and when she’s later spending her first night
in her new apartment, in her new city,
unable to sleep because she’s really on her own now,
those songs will be where she goes.
Trust me.
Over the years,
a one minute and thirty-nine second
cut by Everclear
will transform from space she wished was free on her iPod,
to a track she clings to on her iPhone.
The best thing you can do for her,
is call her before she calls you.
She’ll probably answer the phone with an eyeroll that you can practically hear through the line.
Because at her age, she’ll be irritated that you’re checking in.
But trust me.
When she’s older
and her heart has been broken but she’s not going to tell you about it,
when nothing make sense at twenty-two
and all she wants to do is to go home but
she can’t,
those calls will save her.
More than she’ll ever tell you they do.
There will be things you just won’t get.
There will be times you don’t know what to say, or even say the wrong words.
But the best thing you can do for her,
is sit there until the tears are done.
Even if you say nothing at all,
or wish you could swallow words you already said.
The best thing you can do for her,
is to make sure she knows that
her laugh is your favorite sound in this world,
her car pulling into your driveway is your deepest breath,
and that dropping her off at the airport is hard for you, too.
No matter how many times it happens.
There will be plenty of things you just won’t get.
But the best things you can do for her,
is a handful of things that won’t make sense
to her when she’s young.
Because.
When she’s older, trust me.
When she needs them most,
all those things you did
will come together like a perfect storm.
A song will take her home when she’s states away,
your photo popping up on her phone will be her lifeline,
and the way you sat with her tears will remind her of what she deserves,
every time she’s given the opposite.
The best thing you can do for her,
is a million and one things.
But at the end of the day,
the best thing you can do for her,
is to simply use all those things
to make it unmistakably
clear that being her Dad
is the greatest thing you’ve ever been.