25 things I’ve learned at 25
My quarter-life crisis has arrived, and so has my list of 25 things I’ve learned at 25. In no particular order, here’s what I’ve got:
Probably a predictable one coming from me, but read books! All kinds. Even ones you think you won’t like or even ones that you’ll disagree with.
I am a gal who values her sleep schedule. Ask my dad what I scored on a Sleep Number bed, the first time I ever slept on one. He’ll roll his eyes and tell you it’s ridiculous. Just because he’s jealous of my skills. Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll tell you. I scored a 98.
Sleep is cool. But also, sometimes the nights when you stay up late talking on the phone for hours with that one best friend you don’t live near anymore, are so worth it.
Speaking of living next to best friends, cherish it when you have it.
It’s a weird season to be in knowing that the next time I move, I will likely never live in this house, my childhood home, ever again. I’ve admittedly fought being here this year a lot. But as it gets closer to winding down, I find myself cherishing every second.
I amaze myself every week with how many times I text people: “Sorry for all the typos. I’m texting without my glasses.” And I have yet to learn I should always have my glasses.
I’ve wasted a lot of energy on worrying about what other people think. It’s yet to give me anything positive back.
I think I say this to some degree every year, but your 20s are so confusing. Like, I’m so confused! I’m tired! I’m happy! No wait, actually, I’m crying. I think I miss college…? It’s okay though, at least I know what I’m talking about. No, I haven’t called my mom 15 times today! Only 10… gosh. But for real, PLEASE, can someone tell my dad that I know he’s probably right but somehow just get him to accept that I’m never going to tell him that? Okay, cool. Thanks.
If living at home has made me realize one thing more than ever, it’s that while I might look like my mom, my dad and I are the same person. Like, actually. It’s frightening. (But to #8, that only means I’m right too, right??)
Everyone’s path will look different. Some of my friends have steady jobs, I’m a writer (read between the lines. Being a writer is a lot of things, but it’s never steady). Some of my friends are married with kids, I happily got a dog (I’m obsessed with him. I’m sorry). My best friend could do your taxes, and I could write you a killer cover letter to get you that job doing taxes. My brother cooks for a living, I catch things on fire in the air fryer like it’s my job (please don’t ask. Thank you). All this to say, embrace where you’re at. All you can do is give it your best, and you can’t wish a season of life away. Be in it.
You can change your mind, and we should all probably just listen more.
A wild revelation I had recently: I know way more Foo Fighters songs than I thought?? Just from growing up riding around in my dad’s car. Though, the catch is, in my head, I also hear a crystal clear: “Paul, no! Turn it DOWN. I have a headache!” (That would be my mom. God, I love them.)
Disagreeing is part of human nature. Love people anyways. Whatever that looks like, because it can look different in different scenarios. But ultimately, I’ve come to believe that loving people should be my primary focus. Before all else.
Not to talk about books again, but hot take: dog-eared books make me happy. It’s just a visible representation to me that someone spent time in the story. As a writer, even if you don’t like my stories, the fact that you spent time in them means something to me.
Forgiving people, like actually forgiving them, is the most freeing thing I’ve experienced this year. Humans are humans, humans are messy. I am one. I am messy. If I want people to forgive my mess (which I do), I have to forgive theirs first.
This is more of a confession, but I have to get it out there. I have to, the guilt, it’s too much! When I was babysitting my younger cousins for a few days this year, I cheated in Monopoly, and conned them into horrible deals to make the game end faster. I’m sorry, okay! It just was NEVER-ENDING. When they’re older, I promise I’ll confess. (Re: #15, I’m messy!! I know!)
Red Rocks in Colorado might be the coolest concert venue.
There will always be something that’s harder for me, or something that I can’t do. Working hard to not let those things discount all that I can do.
My brother is freakishly good at the 8 Ball iMessage game. And it has exposed the worse sides of my competitiveness. My 24th year in one sentence: iMessage 8 Ball took my sanity. (I am Paul. I already admitted to this. This shouldn’t be a shock.)
Vacations with my entire family get better every year.
For my fellow creatives out there: seeking validation from absolutely everyone is exhausting.Find a few you trust to share your work with when it’s in its rough stages, and don’t feel pressure to share it with anyone else. Let rough drafts be rough drafts, and let opinions be opinions.
Breathe. I already talked about forgiving others but forgiving ourselves is important too. You will screw up. You will. So will I. I’ve learned especially this year, beating myself up is something I do way too often. Grace exists. And we should all find it.
Try your best. And if someone doesn’t like it or support you in it, let them leave. But don’t let them stop you from keeping on or trying again.
Yes, I still think Friday Night Lights is the best TV show. Clear eyes, full hearts.
Life is wild. I’m 25! And I’m doing things I never thought I would do, so I’m going to stop saying I’m never going to do certain things. Maybe. I’ll let you know the next time I do something I said I wouldn’t do. Bottom line: every day, all I’m trying to be is thankful.